Every generation young people has your "handwriting" in preferences , relationships with peers and loved ones . Which ones today exist problems in communication with peers ? What's up with that? does it affect How to help parents set up communion children ? Current I clarified the question with help several interviewers . So , let's get to know them vision and mine conclusions .
The first interlocutor .
" When I was 13-14 years old, my girlfriend and I often quarreled because both aspired to be the "main star " in the filming dancing video She had a stronger character, she showed it in relationships with boys . Because I didn't want to be the second plan, I often cried. These experiences shared with my mother. She listened . She gave advice when I asked. And in general, she did not intervene even then me it it seemed strange Because my friend's grandmother regularly " corrected " ours relationships both in social networks and in person coming to me Only with time did I realize how wisely my mother behaved. I am grateful that she did not interfere in our friendship, did not scold me , did not solve problems for me . That's why today I'm confident in myself , I'm learning to make my own decisions in the future problematic question I have a lot with my mother trusting relationship ."
The second interlocutor .
"When I was 16, I had problems communicating with my peers arise rarely I think it is thanks to visiting camps since childhood . I learned there find a common language with diverse people peers However sometimes arise situations when I do not find desire search I don't see compromises in relationships sense spend time and energy on a relationship with someone specific Probably this caused by its behavior in the first case meetings , attitudes to me and mine close ones In such cases I see two options development events The first is simply not develop relationships If they still are me important , then I choose second option and I'm trying to fix it the situation For this purpose , I sometimes ask my parents for advice . They will analyze the situation with parties , indicate more correct way derailment my images Parents do not decide completely for me, but only they direct so that I can to accept decision ."
Third interlocutor , 12 years old .
various reasons for problems in communication with peers interests It is important that parents do not try solve conflicts instead of me, but they made it possible to learn this independently ."
Fourth interlocutor , 16 years old .
" There are misunderstandings in relationships because of lifestyle , interests , environment , upbringing different Calm and intelligent parents should children search appropriate school, aggressive ones - to give to MMA ( mixed fighting of art )."
As you can see , all of them interviewers the only thing is that parents should not interfere in relationships with peers; appreciate own right to experience . Therefore , adults worth give such opportunity by offering own vision and advice . However, parents often impose daughters and sons own scenarios . Like , it's necessary be friends with everyone ; not always express their views; everyone images to forgive Scenarios universal collectivism own outlived Today it is everyone's right young a person to be himself ( with respect , of course this in others ) is an axiom , a path to self-realization through one's own originality
And it runs he through independent decision children , including false ones . This is experience . He forms in youth self - confidence , own vital script , active socialization . And vice versa , permanent parental control, prohibitions, condemnation push children to secretiveness , deception, depression . In the worst in some cases - to addictions , as an escape from themselves. Contributes to the negative development of youth maximalism .
In relations with children, parents should be older partners, wise and prudent . to be interested their by life every day , listen and hear , trust and accept . This is what it means to love
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